Do you remember the random fact generators, particularly the Chuck Norris generator? The database was quickly overrun, the clever entries diluted into harmlessness by hundreds of “lol roundhouse” jokes, with the aftermath leaving Chuck Norris a regular commentator on World Net Daily. A few days ago e posted a tongue-in-cheek list of campaign promises if he were to be elected president.

This is how I discovered Norris to be a fascist.

That may be a bit harsh but the list of his “campaign promises” has, alongside the expected jokes about “the real WMDs – his fists and feet,” a promise to “deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O’ Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).” Patriotic, isn’t it? There’s nothing more American than deporting all political opponents, forcing them to listen to your own point of view exclusively for years on end before they can return home.

I’m probably overreacting but the unthinkingly loyal and blind patriotism of Norris’ writing leaves me more than a little uncomfortable, memetic darling though he may be. At least he doesn’t have any real political aspirations. The way celebrity worship is in this country, he’d get elected with terrifyingly little difficulty.