A little while ago I watched the first episode of The 1/2 Hour News Hour, a sort of hybrid between SNL’s Weekend Update and The Daily Show with a conservative bent. Politically I fall into the secular left, but if something is funny I don’t care what the bias is. Comedy is comedy, regardless of whom the target is. Besides, I was raised in Simi Valley, CA, proud home of the Reagan Presidential Library and conservative bastion.

(Growing up in the same town as a Presidential Library is a guarantee of mind-numbing field-trips, year after year, although I once attended a private dinner and tour of the upper levels. Nancy Reagan’s security detail ended up getting briefly involved when a silent alarm was triggered.)

I was skeptical about The 1/2 Hour News Hour when it was first announced, but what the hell. It deserved a chance. The DVR was set to record it, and a little after the first airing I sat down with my housemates to watch it.

I only finished watching it out of spite, the desire to not let this abortion of comedy claim victory.

I’m not the target audience, I know that, but good lord was the thing bad. There were maybe, maybe, one or two jokes that were funny. The rest were either juvenile jabs (”Obama’s initials are BO! Tee hee!”) or outright attacks. (”The ACLU defends the right to snort cocaine while pregnant!”) Hell, I’m still trying to figure out why there was a running Ed Begley Jr. gag. (”His electric car doesn’t have much horsepower! Silly liberal!”)

The entire show was a hodge-podge of undeveloped ideas and concepts, presented rapid-fire by hosts with little to no charisma and produced more for the sake of having a conservative Daily Show alternative than of actually being entertaining. I may still watch the second episode to see where they go, but I’m certainly not going to be expecting much.

Prove me wrong, fuckers. Please.